How to cope with the lowest points of depression?

People who struggle with depression are constantly feeling low. However, there are moments when you feel like you’re at the bottom of the ocean. You’re losing your mind, and there’s no end. It feels like nothing’s going to change, and you’re just stuck. Those moments might appear because of certain triggers or sometimes from being in your head too much. If you have someone who you trust to talk to, and you know they care about you, you tell them that you feel worse than usual and/or tell them what happened to you. Most of the time, it is pointless. No matter how much that person loves you; you don’t feel understood. Moreover, you get irritated when someone says, “I understand”, “Don’t think about it”, “Think positively”, “I’ve been through the same thing”, and “Everything will be ok”. It does not help, and it’s not their fault, but you feel like your feelings are invalid. Then, you feel guilty for being ungrateful and taking your life for granted. Only If there was a pill that could help get rid of these feelings and thoughts, but nothing seems to work. I found out even an antidepressant that I take does not help me sometimes. (My mom asked me not to mention the name of the medication). Sometimes, I feel my medication dries out my tears, and I am not able to cry to the fullest to be relieved. There’s no magic switch that would change things instantly. You desire to disappear and to be forgotten. You act like a wounded dog; you want to run away from everything and everyone. You feel like the whole world does not understand you, and you won’t be fine ever again. On the other hand, it is destructive to give up and do absolutely nothing to make the situation lighter. You wake up after a horrible sleep and nightmares, and if you don’t have to be anywhere or don’t have anyone to talk to, you just stay in your bed all day. For me, it is extremely difficult to even get up from my bed and get a glass of water from the kitchen. My mind is running in an endless circle while I can’t move my muscles. I’ve had so many moments like these when I couldn’t leave the house for days. I just do nothing: can’t watch anything, can’t read, can’t eat, and have nothing to say to anyone. I feel I am in the void. Since I’ve been having many days like these happening without any triggers, I have realized it’s not productive for me to continue struggling like that. I had to find a solution even though it is still not easy. I don’t have a formula or a secret, and I know it’s all in the hands of my willpower. So, here are some suggestions that might help you cope with the depths of your despair.

1. Take a shower. Force yourself to do it. Take a proper warm shower, don’t just rinse your body. Wash your hair, and then make water cooler and cooler.
2. Eat something. I know it’s the last thing you want to think about. Food has no flavor, but if you keep starving yourself, your brain will be foggier. Eat something sweet, or something that always comforts you. If you don’t want to go outside or cook, let it be. Order food, it’s worth it. Today you’re allowed to make a splurge. If you have a good friend or a roommate, ask them to buy you something. It is ok once in a while to ask people to do something for you. I am always reluctant to ask someone to do something for me, but I am a psycho loner, and I live alone, so I have to pay the double price.
3. Go outside. It sounds like a cliche, and you hear it all the time. In my opinion, I don’t think you should go for a walk, because walking is sort of calming. You don’t need to calm down when you’re dead inside; you need to cheer up. You should go for a walk when you have an anxiety attack. If you’re in the lowest depression, walking will only make you dig deeper within yourself. Maybe go for a run or exercise outside. Your energy needs to be dedicated somewhere else. Listen to Pink or Avril Lavigne, please don’t pick the saddest songs, I’m begging you. That’s why you need a freaking playlist for every occasion of your life. This emotional roller coaster needs to be accomplished by music.
4. It is most likely that you will still stay home and won’t go outside to run a marathon. In that case, you have to do something that will require your focus 100%. The other day, I was drowning in my tears; I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I got up, took my old pot that was rusted, and I started cleaning it with baking soda until it started shining. It made a difference in my mood. Something else that might exhaust you physically but relieve mentally is hand-washing your clothes. It will break your back for sure, but what an achievement.
5. Turn your pain into art. Well, something needs to come out of it. It sounds so cheesy, but Olivia Rodrigo needed that heartbreak to write the “Driver’s license” song, right? This advice might not help you if you’re not musically inclined; at least I hope I made you smile.
6. Sing. Sing loudly, especially if you’re alone, so it won’t matter even if you suck at it. I am guilty for that, though my poor neighbors haven’t complained so far. Again, pick a song wisely, don’t sing Adele or Billie Eilish. Not just because their songs are almost impossible to replicate, and you will ruin your self-esteem, but the fact that their songs are just too sad, even for the saddest people.
7. Go shopping. Yes, it sounds materialistic, and we all know money can’t buy happiness, but searching for something in a store with an overwhelming amount of stuff will eventually distract you. I usually go to Trader Joe’s. They always have something new, and the stores are always crowded; somehow, you start focusing on something else.
8. Go through your wardrobe. It might be the last thing you wanna think about, but, for example, I have a folder on my laptop where I put pictures of all my outfits. Play around with your pieces.
9. Dress up. Immediately when you wake up on those kinds of days, change, don’t stay in your pajamas, don’t stay in your bed. You will not be able to fall asleep nor you will be reading your books. Don’t deceive yourself. I know you will keep digging in your thoughts looking for answers.

I know everything that I’ve mentioned here, you’ve probably heard before. Maybe, I did not help. I struggle a lot too, and I keep repeating to myself that everything is temporary. We have survived the worst days, and no doubt, there will be even worse days and more serious problems, but we can’t give up and waste our time crying. That is why we have to put in as much effort as possible to make things better. We have to build resilience as much as possible, we can’t just handle pain the same way we used to 5 years ago. At some point, we have to start living, not just existing by avoiding life. Plus, no matter how much you’re self-aware, and realize how lucky and privileged you are, it will not help you feel better. I keep reminding myself that I am very lucky to live in New York and be independent. Sometimes, it’s difficult to make the connection. So it is ok to be sad and feel miserable. Ultimately, we can’t control our mood while battling depression. However, it’s not ok to keep defining yourself like that forever. Nobody is going to fix your mood if you don’t try it yourself. It might feel lonely and puzzling figuring things out, but think about it, you’ve had bad days and months, but there were good days and moments also. So, this fact should give you hope.